Mentor Program

THE CO-SERVE MENTOR PROGRAM

The goal of the Co-Serve Mentor Program is to build a relationship between a mentor and student as they share with each other their experiences with life and leadership around a variety of topics. These are the same topics that students have studied in Co-Serve’s introductory course on the principles of servant leadership, and include: the value of people and relationships, influence through relationship, self-awareness, respect, service, listening, purpose, awareness, forgiveness, integrity, serving through building community, acceptance, encouragement, empowerment, helping people grow, vision, innovation, and courage.

The Mentor Program Schedule

In the Mentor Program, mentors and students have one discussion per week, over 14 weeks. Instructions on preparing for each of the 14 discussions can be found below on this page. The first discussion is held over email and is used to get acquainted with each other. After that, mentors and students should find a way to meet each week using Zoom, WhatsApp, Messenger, or similar applications, so they can talk via a live connection. Weekly conversations should take up to 1 hour. Once they start the program, mentors and students should develop their own schedule of meetings so they can get through the program in about 14 weeks.

Reading a Book on Servant Leadership

As part of the Mentor Program, students should choose to read a book on servant leadership. Recommended books include: “The Servant” by James Hunter, “The Case for Servant Leadership” by Kent Keith, “Servant Leadership in Action” by Ken Blanchard & Renee Broadwell, or “Morality and Morale” by Kent Keith. Students can also agree with their mentor on another book they would like to read. Mentors can choose to read the same book as the student, although this is not required. Students should plan to read about one chapter per week to finish their books on time. Students should contact their local Servant Leadership Center and/or Co-Serve partner organization to learn about books that are available. If students need help getting a copy of a book, they can also contact Gary Williams for assistance.

Kent Keith is providing free copies of his books for students and international mentors in Co-Serve’s Mentor Program. PDF copies of these books can be downloaded by clicking on the following links: The Case for Servant Leadership and Morality and Morale. For American mentors, we recommend purchasing a Kindle version or used paperback version of Kent Keith’s books on Amazon to support the author. These can be purchased at the following links: The Case for Servant Leadership on Amazon and Morality and Morale on Amazon.

Watching Videos

Students and mentors may want to watch various videos to think more deeply about each of the discussion topics. Many helpful videos are available on YouTube. Co-Serve has compiled a list of some videos that may be useful. You can download a PDF list of videos and ideas on how to use them by clicking HERE.

Volunteer Service Project

Students should do a volunteer service project at about the same time as they are involved in the Mentor Program. Students will share and reflect on their experiences doing volunteer service with their mentor. Students should discuss ideas for their project with their local Co-Serve partner in their country.

Questions or Concerns

If students or mentors have any problems or concerns, including being unable to contact each other, please contact Gary Williams at email [email protected].

Discussion 1: Getting Acquainted

This first discussion will take place on email only and is used to get acquainted. Students should be the first one to write to their mentor, and then mentors should respond to their students. Additional emails should be used to respond to each other, sharing your thoughts on what your mentor/student shared. This discussion builds on the idea that people are valuable, and it is worth taking time to learn about each other’s lives. In this discussion, share and decide on the following:

  • Introduce yourself by sharing important things about you and key events from your life that have shaped you.
  • In follow up emails, respond to each other, sharing what you appreciate about the person’s life.
  • Through your emails, decide on the time each week (starting in January with Discussion 2) that you will have your discussions and the internet application you will use.
  • Through your emails, agree on the book that the student will read as part of the program.

compass

Discussion 2: values

In the servant leadership course, students developed their own list of core values. Core values are the values that are the most important to you and that you want to guide their life. Integrity is about always striving to follow your core values and admitting when you make mistakes. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share your current list of core values – the values that are most important to you.
  • Give examples from your life on how you have followed each of your values recently. What did you do?
  • Which of your values are hardest for you to follow. What do you do when you make mistakes?

Discussion 3: respect

In the servant leadership course, we discuss the idea that every person, as a valuable human being, is worthy of respect. Even those people who are hurt and who hurt others, still have the potential to heal and grow. We talk about “extraordinary respect” – where we not only give “basic” respect to people, but we treat each person as someone with amazing gifts and potential. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • For you, what is the difference between showing “basic” respect and showing “special” or “extraordinary” respect to someone?
  • Why do you think a servant leader will show special respect to people, even if it seems they don’t deserve it?
  • Many people in this world are not respected and are even ignored. Who are these people in your society? How can you show respect to these people?
  • Share stories of when you chose to value, respect, and listen to someone, even when it was hard to do. What happened?

Discussion 4: Purpose

In the servant leadership course we suggest that if we value people, we will recognize that they have a purpose in life. This means we believe that each person has a special gift to give this world. We also discuss that our purpose is not only connected with our passions, gifts and talents, but it is connected with our areas of brokenness. Through our brokenness we can have special understanding and empathy for the needs of others. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • At this point in time, how would you describe your purpose in life?
  • What do you believe are your special gifts and talents that you can offer this world?
  • What are the kinds of activities and work that give you joy and “bring you to life?”
  • What particular needs do you see in the world that you have a special burden for? How is your purpose connected with this?

Discussion 5: servant leader

In the servant leadership course, we learned that service is about meeting people’s needs – which include physical (the body), mental (the mind), emotional (the heart) and spiritual (the soul). Maslow identified a “hierarchy of human needs” that included: 1) food, water and shelter, 2) safety and security, 3) love and belonging, 4) self-esteem and 5) self-actualization. Often, when we think of “serving someone,” we think of meeting their basic physical needs. But, we see that true service involves much more than this. Greenleaf shared how the “test” of true service, is this: do those served grow as persons; do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about one or two people, outside your family, who served you in your life and helped you to grow. What did they do? What needs did they meet for you?
  • Did anyone ever care about you enough to help you find your purpose and calling in life? If so, share about them and how they did this.

organization-line

Discussion 6: organization

Most of us have experienced both good and bad examples of leadership as part of different organizations. Or, we have heard about examples from others. In this discussion, share about organizations that you know that follow the principles we have discussed so far, including showing respect and value to people, serving people and helping them to grow, and helping people find their purpose and use their gifts. If you don’t know about organizations from personal experience, ask some of your relatives or friends to tell you about their experiences. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about a good leadership experience you or a friend has had as part of an organization.
  • Share about a bad leadership experience you or a friend has had as part of an organization.
  • Are their organizations in your country that are recognized for caring for their people? If so, share about them. What do they do?

Discussion 7: community

In the servant leadership course, we discussed how a community is a group of people who have a “common unity.” Communities are united, for example, by their values, their goals, and their purpose. We also discussed how the best communities are safe communities, where you are free to be your authentic self. In safe communities you are not afraid to take off your masks, share your life, and give your gifts. In a safe community, the community can know the true you, and help you to find your special role and purpose as part of the community. True communities have the potential to become something greater than the sum of their parts. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about the different communities that you are a part of and the main purpose of each of them.
  • Are any of your communities safe communities where you can find your special role as part of the group? If so, how do these communities create this safe atmosphere?
  • What has been your best experience as part of a community, where you sensed the community was becoming something greater than just the contributions of its individual members?
  • What can you do as a leader to improve the communities that you are a part of?

Discussion 8: forgiveness

In the servant leadership course, we discussed the value of relationships, and one way you can demonstrate this value, is to “give for” the relationship by forgiving people when they hurt or offend you. Forgiveness is hard, because it is hard to let go of our feelings of pride and a desire to punish people when they hurt us. The strongest servant leaders will bear people’s pain, and even when someone hurts them, they will seek to understand the person, have empathy, forgive the person, and still serve them. We also learned that forgiveness is about “letting go” – where you let go of your pride, your desire for revenge, and also you let go of your own pain. Forgiveness is about giving grace and mercy. It is not about changing the past, but about changing the future – both for you and potentially for those you forgive. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about some of your experiences when you chose to forgive a person. What did you learn from this experience?
  • Share about any situations in your life right now where you are struggling to forgive someone. Why is it hard to forgive them?
  • Share about an experience when someone forgave you. What did you learn from this experience?
  • How is your book reading going? Remind each other – there are just 6 weeks left to finish the book!

Discussion 9: voice

Stephen Covey, in his book, “The 8th Habit,” says, “The highest challenge inside organizations, including families, is to set them up and run them in a way that enables each person to inwardly sense his or her innate worth and potential for greatness and encourages them to contribute his or her unique talents and passion (i.e. their voice) to accomplish the organization’s purpose in a principle-centered way.” This quote talks about helping people to find their voice as part of a community. This is an important work of a servant leader. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about your experience in your family. Has your family helped you to sense your worth and to identify your unique talents and passion (i.e. your voice)? If so, how did they do this?
  • Share how you, as the current or future leader of your own family, can help each member of your family to find their voice?
  • What do you think are the leadership strategies for setting up and running an organization so that the members of the organization can know their worth and find their voice?

Discussion 10: your vision

In the servant leadership course, we discussed how, “without a vision, people perish” (as it says in the book of Proverbs). People come to life when they are inspired by a vision for a better future that they can be a part of. A servant leader will serve people by helping them to define a common vision that is for the good of everyone. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about your own vision for your life. What are your dreams? How do you want to make this world a better place?
  • How can you share your vision with others? How can you invite others to join you in your vision?
  • As you think about pursuing your vision and your dreams, what will be hard? What do you need so that you will not give up?

broken-shield

Discussion 11: enemies

There are many ideas that are the “enemies” of servant leadership. These are any ideas that make you want to stop being a servant leader and just go back to the “normal” way of living. For example, one common idea is that if you help people, they will just take advantage of you. So you should only help those who can help you back. Kent Keith fights the “enemies” of servant leadership with his list of “paradoxical commandments.” One of these “commandments” says, “Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.” In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share at least 5 ideas that are the biggest “enemies” of servant leadership for you. Why are you tempted to sometimes believe these ideas are true?

Discussion 12: change

In the servant leadership course, we talked about how servant leaders think outside of the box and how they are people of innovation and change. This is logical, because servant leaders have a vision for a better society. Obviously, society can only change and become better if something actually changes! But, change is hard, and it requires doing things differently. We can’t expect any change if we don’t start to do something different. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about a time in your life when you made a change. Perhaps you decided to change a habit, a behavior, or a goal in your life. What was hard?
  • What are changes you would like to make in your life right now?
  • In order to live better as a servant leader, what changes do you feel like you need to make?

Discussion 13: non-servants

For those that study servant leadership, one of the most common questions people eventually ask, is, “What should I do if my leader is not a servant?” This, unfortunately, is a common situation for many people – where they work for an organization where their boss is not a servant leader, but primarily leads through power and control. This often kills the spirit of the employees and the only reason they keep working is because they need their salary. In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share about any experience you have had where you worked for a leader who was not a servant. What did you do (or what are you doing) in this situation?
  • If the organization you work for does not have a culture of servant leadership, can you still be a servant leader while working there? How can you do this?
  • For you, in what situations should you stay and keep trying to influence an organization as a servant leader, and in what situations should you resign and leave your place of work?

Discussion 14: book and goodbye

This is the final discussion! In this discussion, share the following with each other:

  • Share the main things that you learned, including any new ideas, from the book that you read about servant leadership.
  • Share what you enjoyed and appreciated about this program.
  • Share any ideas on how you can continue to support each other and stay in contact, even now that the formal part of this program is finished.